May 13, 2016

Hotel Mass Euphoria

Hotel California - cover art

With thanks to The Eagles  (YouTube)

In a booth at Chipotle, ‘Bloomberg GO’ guests were bears
Smell of poison carnitas rising up through the air
Filled with dread, sudden sickness, a migraine’s shimmering lights
I put my head down near my side of chips, and fell asleep for the night

Yellen stood in my dreamscape, I heard the opening bell
And I was thinking to myself "this can’t be Heaven, so this must be Hell"
Then she grew a green candle and she showed me the way
There were voices on a trading floor, I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Mass Euphoria
Such a lovely place, such a bullish case
Plenty of fools at the Hotel Mass Euphoria
Any time of year, you can find them here

They’re buying Tiffany, Twitter – they got some big, crazy bets (ugh)
They bought some shitty momo toys, and ‘style’ fund blends
How they crushed all the short funds (“Sweet -- watch ‘em sweat!”)
Some danced with Fed members, some chanced more long bets

So I called to their Captain, "Please make it decline!"  
He said, "We haven't had a selloff here since mid-2009"
Then it seemed voices were calling from far away
(Chipotle staff, changing shifts for the night, comin' to take my tray …)

Welcome to the Hotel Mass Euphoria
Such a lovely place (just the bullish case)
They’re bidding it up at the Hotel Mass Euphoria
What a nice surprise, all those AAPL buys

Then stocks hit the ceiling, oil shorts move in on ICE
And they said "We are all just prisoners here of our greed and vice"
And in Carl Icahn’s chambers and Chanos’ fund back east
They short it with their friends and wives, and they just might kill the beast

Last thing I remember, they were running for the door
They had to sell their AAPL shares before the damn thing hit the floor
"Step back," said the doorman, “this is Keynesian Hell
You can buy stocks any time you like, but you can never sell!"

{Beelzebub and Bullard trade guitar licks in an endless solo, longer than all the verses combined – in fact, lasting longer than the preceding bull market}