Jul 31, 2015


"Let's Get Physical" - Olivia Newton-John

Olivia Newton-John (YouTube) is (apparently) a fan of precious metals:

They’re saying all the things that they think you'll like,
claiming there’s no inflation
An 11-handle VIX, it just ain’t right -- but stocks must stay green

They took you for an indolent sycophant, a beggar that can’t be choosy
But the data-dependence they talk about is just a tautology

So let's get physical, physical
I wanna buy physical, let's get into physical
Let me see the dollar drop, the dollar drop
Let me watch the dollar drop

I've been patient, knock on wood, but consumer demand’s unstable
It's gettin' hard this holdin' back when the Fed might intervene
I’ll never understand their point of view to act incrementally
But as those Fed-Heads drag it out, it’s minerals for me

Let's get physical, physical . . .

Jul 28, 2015

10:15 Tuesday Morning

The Cure

Thanks to The Cure (YouTube)

10:15 on a Tuesday morning
And the Dow rips past yesterday’s high
And I’m seeing that the CCI stinks
But the Dow rips
Rip rip rip rip rip rip rip rip …

Waiting for the closing bell to ring
And I wonder:  should I fade this swing?
And I'm crying for price discovery
But the Dow rips
Rip rip rip rip rip rip rip rip …

It's always the same

Tie a Yellen Ribbon ('Round the Ole Oak Tree)

Tony Orlando & Dawn

From the Seventies classic by Tony Orlando & Dawn (YouTube)

I’m buying gold, I think it’s time
But I’ve got to see stocks ramp just one more time
If you received my letter tellin’ you the bulls might flee
Then you'll know just what to do, if you still love Keynes
If you still love Keynes

Whoa, tie a dovish ribbon round the ole oak tree
It's been eight long months, we need more QE

Jul 24, 2015

She's Lost Control

She's Lost Control

Another Joy Division (YouTube) parody

Confusion at the Fed just says it all
She's lost control
And she's stinging from the latest crash in SPY
She's lost control

And she threw away her meme from the past she extolled again and again:
That the data tells her when and where to act
She said ‘I've lost control again’

Jul 21, 2015

Markets of Your Town

Streets of Your Town - Go-Betweens

Thanks to The Go-Betweens (YouTube)

Round and round up and down
Trading stocks from your town 
Every day I make my way
Through the markets of your town  

And don't the Dow look bad today?    (Sha-la-la-aaa-aaaah)
But more pain is on its way   
Watch them catch the falling knife
‘Cause this market has got nine lives

Jul 16, 2015

Please NFLX Please

Please Mr. Please - Olivia Newton-John

Olivia Newton-John (YouTube) initiates coverage of Netflix, Inc. with a Buy-Stop

In the corner of the bar there stands a Bloomberg
With the best of technology, old and new
You can pull up five full stock quotes for a quarter
And even some Reuters news when you are through

They’ve got cheap Slovenian bourbon on the counter
“Fast Money” and my friends here to ease the pain
'Til some biotech-pushin’ dork reviews his “Top Picks”
And here I am just dissing you again

Jul 13, 2015

Positively Wall Street

Positively 4th Street - Bob Dylan

Adapted from Bob Dylan (YouTube)

You got a lotta nerve to say it’s a downtrend
When the Dow gapped up you just stood there grinning
You got a lotta nerve to say you got more margin funds to lend
You just want to stay on the side that’s winning

You say Greece takes us down, you know it’s not like that
If you’re so sure, why then don’t you short it?
You say you lost in May, but that’s not where it’s at
It’s the only day you’ll lose, and you know it

Jul 10, 2015


Venus - Frankie Avalon

Music by Frankie Avalon (YouTube)

(To be sung by your favorite algo):

Hey, Venus, oh Venus

Venus, if you will
Please send a few new shorts for me to kill
Folks who buy the VIX and fight the ARMS
That I can harm and abuse

Jul 9, 2015

Ticket to Buy

Ticket to Ride - Beatles

To be sung to the music of The Beatles (YouTube)

I think I'm gonna be sad, I think it's today, yeah
The girl that used to love FAZ just made a long play

She's got a ticket to buy; she's got a ticket to buy-uy-uy
She’s got a ticket to buy, and she don't care

Jul 8, 2015

Put Spread that Head 'n' Shoulders

Paul Anka - Put Your Head on my Shoulder

A Paul Anka (YouTube) parody

Put spread that Head ‘n’ Shoulders
Spike up high the ARMS, baby
Won’t get squeezed tonight
Show me that the bulls are through

Push the VIX to 59, dear
Puts can’t miss for once, baby
Adjust our risk up high?  Maybe
You and I will make a ton

Jul 7, 2015

Bullard Trading SPY & DIA-monds


With apologies to The Beatles (YouTube)

Picture yourself on the Niagara River
In barrels like sardines, with the big Falls in sight
Somebody dropped rates, she’ll raise them quite slowly
A gal spouting Keynesian lines

‘Sell in May’ candles of Yellen green
Towering over your head
Look for the guy with QE on his mind, and he’s gone

Jul 6, 2015



From the 60s classic bye The Ronettes (YouTube)

(For bulls born in the QE era, old habits die hard)

The night you IPO’d I knew I needed you so
And if I could buy you near $80, I’d never let you go
I’m not afraid to say I love you, and that I’m so proud of you
We’ll make shorts hang their heads
Every day your share price grows

So won't you please                 (Buy me, buy me BABA)
Buy me a little BABA                 (My one and only BABA)
Say you'll do my charting          (Buy me, buy me BABA)
Buy me BABA now !

Jul 1, 2015

The Brownian-Motion

The Locomotion  - Grand Funk

With a little help from Grand Funk/Little Eva

The market’s been doin' a familiar dance now
(Come on baby, do the Brownian-Motion)
Traders really hate it, ‘cause they don’t have a chance now
(Come on baby, do the Brownian-Motion)

Never seen both long and shorts get squeezed
As fibi lines get shredded like they are Swiss cheese
So, come on, come on, and do the Brownian-Motion with me: