May 29, 2015


Arftul Dodger - Honor Among Thieves

More 70s nostalgia from Artful Dodger (YouTube)

Bought calls early this morning, Cramer’s lies deceived me
Got stopped right out, and cried myself to sleep
Seems like all these bad trades, they’re all going through
And I can't help but wondering how I can ever go long without you
You see that …

I wanna scream for ZIRP, scream for ZIRP, Janet
Not enough, just five, get another dove inside, like you
ZIRP’s for me, ZIRP’s for me, yeah
Not enough upside, get a dove inside, just like you

May 28, 2015

Eleanor Rigby

Eleanor Rigby

With apologies to The Beatles (YouTube)

Ah, look at all the lonely traders

Eleanor Rigby picks up some shorts at VWAP where the selling had been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the pivot, daring to chase a few cents as they head for the door
What the hell for?

All the lonely traders, where do they all come from?
All the bearish traders, will they ever go long?

May 26, 2015

Doves Will Tear Us Apart

Love Will Tear Us Apart (cover) - Joy Division

To the music of Joy Division (YouTube)

When shorting bites hard
And Fed Funds stay low
And leverage rides high
But incomes won’t grow
And we don’t ‘sell in May’
Taking off in ramp mode

Doves, doves will tear us apart again

May 22, 2015

The Car Song

Energy trading with cult favorites Madder Rose from "The Car Song (YouTube)"

I snatched up some Nat Gas
And pulled up a fresh quote
Same as it was before
So I'll try to get some sleep
Try to get some rest

I guess you already know
I think of you all night long
I’ll think of you all night long
Think NG all night long
But I’ll try to get some sleep

Check quotes at CT 4:00 
Just 15 minutes more
Then collapse back on the floor
For ¾ hours of sleep
Try to get some rest

May 21, 2015

Crappy Together

Happy Together - The Turtles

Music by The Turtles (YouTube)

Imagine price discovery, I do
I think about it day and night, it’s just not fair
That our Fed Chair’s such a dove, but I’m a bear
So crappy together

May 19, 2015


Temptation - New Order

An adaptation of New Order (YouTube)

QE, a gateway drug, I hope
Need something stronger, real soon, it’s no joke
And though it’ll hurt me to re-cross that DMA
A few Fed words, carry trade goes back our way

Up, down, turn around, please don’t let it stay range-bound
Tonight I’ll get a margin loan, pick up some TOL on my way home

May 18, 2015

Everything is Free

Gillian Welch - Time (The Revelator)

Music by Gillian Welch (YouTube)

Every trade is free now, that's what they say
Profit that we used to make, gotta give it away
Flash boys hit the big score, they figured it out
They we’re gonna trade anyway, even if it doesn't pay

I just bought the breakout, hope it goes far
Then the damn thing changed, down to a pin-bar
I could get a real job, I’ve done it before
Never minded working hard ... at least until 4
[Repeat CHORUS]

May 16, 2015

Fed Fatale


Original by The Velvet Underground (YouTube)

Here she comes
You better watch your shorts
She's going to break your account in two, it's true

It's not hard to recognize
Just look into her dove-colored eyes
If she says “lift-off”
She’s just messing around, what a clown
'Cause everybody knows

My Dark Pool

My Old School - Steely Dan

A take on Steely Dan (YouTube)

I remember kissing my profits goodbye
When they’d route me through those wolverines under Barclays’ veil
If I were king, I’d think it justified
To toss those smirking jerks in a federal jail

I was trading with the boys upstairs  
When I heard about the whole affair
I said "Oh no, Barclays LX won't do now"
Well they set us up so HFTs just drooled
And I'm never going back to that dark pool

May 12, 2015

It's a Cult


Lovingly adapted from R.E.M. (YouTube)

Oooh, we hear an awful noise
Oooh, sounds like fighting squirrels

It's six o'clock, turn CNBC off !
Before that cowardly troll opens his mouth
and takes questions
You won’t miss anything, you won’t miss anything

It’s a cult (Cramer’s cult), it’s a cult
It’s a cult (freakish cult), it’s a cult

May 11, 2015


Groovin' - The Young Rascals

With apologies to The Young Rascals (YouTube)

Spoofin’ on a warm May afternoon
Really couldn’t get to my desk too soon
I can’t imagine a way to trade that’s better
Ensure my Ask and their Bid never come together
While far below I’ll scoop up shares – god, I’m so clever

May 8, 2015

Get Out at Break-even

Ivy - Apartment Life

With a little help from Ivy (YouTube)

Summer trading’s hard and lonely
Markets moving slowly
The tape is filled with algo swill

I'm trying to get out at break-even
Trying to get out at break-even

May 7, 2015

Short Squeeze

Daydream - Lovin' Spoonful

Adapted from The Lovin' Spoonful (YouTube)

What a day for a short squeeze
Quite a day for a day-tradin’ boy
And I'm lost in a trade scheme
Reamin' ‘em out with their hedge fund toys

As even the HFTs are on my side
It's one of those days for takin' an early ride
I’ll soak in the sun for the entire day
After dumping my whole account into TNA