Apr 30, 2015

Lost Potential Gain

R.E.M. - So. Central Rain cover

Courtesy of R.E.M. (YouTube)

Did I buy more calls?  Well, I’m bracing for a fall
These patterns of congestion are scaring me away  
The QQQs could bend, your profits wash away
If the Committee can’t deliver on the Fed’s pipedream
I'm sorry

Apr 29, 2015

Bad Trade

Grand Funk - Bad Time art

With music by Grand Funk (YouTube)

I'm in love with a stock they’re all talking about
I’m in love with a stock I can’t live without
I'm in love, but I sure picked a bad time  {full band enters}
To buy that stock, to buy that stock

Well, let TWTR be on someone else's screen
I don't want to know about it
There's too many other names breakin’ green
And that's why I've got to live without it

Apr 28, 2015

I Wanna Be Libated

Ramones - Road to Ruin

With apologies to The Ramones (YouTube)

Twenty more months of ZIRP to go, assets are inflated
Nothing to do, just watch them scramble to keep things elevated

Just keep liquidity flowin’, like the Tampa rain
Get me through next year without an ounce of pain
Don’t wanna make no trades, don’t wanna use my brain
Oh no, oh-oh oh-oh

Apr 27, 2015

Stairway to Hell

Stairway to Hell

From the original by Led Zeppelin (YouTube)

There’s a Fed Chair who’s sure all that matters is gold
And she’s printing a stairway to Hell
When she gets there she knows if our stocks have been sold
With a word she can get us to buy more
And she’s printing a stairway to Hell

There are signs of a fall that she wants to obscure
But she knows some Fed words have dual meanings
In a trade by the book we’d be long through next spring
Some think all of their ‘dots’ are misleading

Ooh, it makes me wonder

Apr 24, 2015

Like a Hurricane

Neil Young & Crazy Horse

Apologies to Neil Young (YouTube)

Once I thought I’d short you after three calm doji bars
With VWAP and the MAs not too far
Topping out my trade screen, just like a shooting star
I saw the Dow rise, burning like a fire

You are like a hurricane, calm seas often hide
Your power to take off on a dime
Need something safer that stays in a range
I want to short you, but I’m getting blown away

Apr 20, 2015

Lost in the Super Market

The Clash - London Calling cover

Music by The Clash (YouTube)

I'm all lost in the ‘super’ market
I can no longer short happily
They came in here for an implied offer
A guarantee of more QE

I wasn't stopped out so much as rubbed out
It’s like a bus ran over me
We have a saying back home in the suburbs:
Your cracked skull you never can see

Apr 17, 2015


Pretenders - 1st album cover

Courtesy of The Pretenders (YouTube)

Kid, what changed your mood?
You've gone all short, said I should short too
I think you know some things
They didn’t want you to know

You think they’re wrong, I can tell you do
Had to use your brain, though they don’t want you to

Apr 16, 2015

Brilliant Farce

Dashboard Confessional

Adapted from Dashboard Confessional (YouTube)

So this is it:  painful realization that your short has gone wrong
And nobody cares at all, nobody cares at all

So you wear your “Price Discovery!” coat
And curse the statements Yellen wrote  
But it doesn't make it any better, doesn't make it any better

And the Bloomberg dented by your fist 
On the desk where you had your first miss
Reminds you that the misery won’t fade

Apr 14, 2015

Wish You Could Hear

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here gatefold

With music by Pink Floyd (YouTube)

So, so you think you can tell  
Yellen from Hell?
New highs from gains?
Can you tell a green shoot
from a graph’s fat tail?
A squid from a whale?
Do you think you can tell?

Apr 10, 2015

Bankers' Concern

Modest Mouse - Long Drive cover

With apologies to Modest Mouse (YouTube)

The bankers’ concern for the people:
Build asset monuments for sheeple
that block their eyes

The Hang Seng’s up each day by noon
Her friend’s text message
has her reach for her shoes
and then walk
“Don’t need to work, gonna trade stocks,
gotta quit our jobs”

Apr 8, 2015

Central Bank Survivor

Survivor - Destiny's Child cover

From the original by Destiny's Child (You Tube)

Now that you won’t get out of our lives -- We’re so much worse
You thought that we'd be rich with you -- But we’re poorer
Thought ZIRP would be over by now -- But it won't stop

Central bank survivors  (What?)
We’re not gonna give up  (What?)
Gonna work harder  (What?)

Apr 6, 2015

A Day in the Market

Beatles - Sgt. Pepper cover

Courtesy of The Beatles (You Tube)

I read the news today, oh boy
About a Jobs report that missed the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw the markets ramp

It seems they thought bad news was good
They didn’t notice that the rules had changed
A crowd of traders stood and stared
They’d seen this act before
Nobody was really sure if they should fade the Oil Report


Beatles - Yesterday

Melody borrowed from The Beatles (You Tube)

Yesterday, a 2.0% 10-yr looked so far away
Now it looks as though it’s here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I’m not half the trader I used to be
There’s a shadow hanging over me
Oh lower yields stay, stubbornly

Why she won’t lift-off, I don’t know, she wouldn’t say
My duration’s set up wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, POMO was such an easy game to play
Now I’ll actually have to earn my pay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Apr 1, 2015


Black Sabbath - Paranoid cover

Short-sellers tend to be paranoid, per Black Sabbath (You Tube) :

Finished with my broker 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I’m insane because I am shorting all the time

All day long I faded things but they all seemed to hit new highs
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something I want to buy

Can you help me bull-ify my brain?    Oh yeah

Take the Fed-Heads Bowling

Camper Van Beethoven cover

With a little help from Camper Van Beethoven (You Tube)

Every day I get up and pray to Janet
And she increases the remaining days of ZIRP by exactly one
Everybody's buying bonds these days
Last night there were Fed-Heads on my lawn

(Chorus) Take the Fed-Heads bowling, take them bowling
Take the Fed-Heads bowling, take them bowling

Some people say raising rates is a pain (is a pain, is a pain)
Some people say before long we’ll be like Spain (be like Spain, be like Spain)
Kocherlakota’s name doesn’t rhyme with anything (anything, anything)
Read the last Fed statement, but forgot what it said (what it said, what it said)

Take the Fed-Heads bowling, take them bowling

Had a dream last night about QE4 . . .