Mar 17, 2015

50 Ways to Run For Cover

Paul Simon - Still Crazy cover

adapted from Paul Simon (You Tube)

The problem’s all inside the Fed, she said to me   
The answer’s easy -- at least hypothetically
Though we’re siblings, my advice will not be free:
There must be 50 ways to run for cover

She said:  it's really not my habit to be rude
Furthermore, I hope my solution won’t exhaust or convolute
But I'll repeat myself, while your losses grow on crude:
There must be 50 ways to run for cover, 50 ways to run for cover

Load the TVIX truck, Chuck;  Gobble UVXY, Guy
Not one leveraged toy, Roy -- just get yourself three 
Ride the FAZ bus, Gus (and be sure to get a whole bunch!)  
And don’t worry ‘bout fees, Lee, ‘cause nothing’s risk-free 

She smirked:  it would grieve me to see you lose those gains
But if you follow my great plan, then you’ll surely smile again
I said:  I appreciate that, Sis, but could you please reveal all 50 ways?

She said:  why don’t you just remain flat for tonight
And I believe in the morning you’ll embrace my keen insight
And then it hit me, like a Zeus-thrown bolt of light:
There must be 50 ways to bankrupt your brother
Fifty ways to peeve your brother

Just OD on DUG (you big lug), eat a TZA cake, Jake
Don’t worry ‘bout ZIRP, twirp  . . .