Aug 25, 2016

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want cover art

From the original by The Rolling Stones (YouTube)

[Yellen of Troy:  The Chair that launched a thousand ships (then tried to sink ‘em on her way out)]

I saw her dismay all the big pensions
A book of Keynes' in her hand
I knew we wouldn’t need VIX protection
At her feet were Bill and Stan

You can't always get what you want …

And we went down standard deviations
Still, stops got their share of abuse
Sayin’:  “We’d better bump our duration
If we don’t, we’re gonna blow a 50-bip move”

May 13, 2016

Hotel Mass Euphoria

Hotel California - cover art

With thanks to The Eagles  (YouTube)

In a booth at Chipotle, heard "just fools can be bears"
Smell of poison carnitas rising up through the air
Filled with dread, sudden sickness, a migraine’s shimmering lights
I put my head down near my side of chips, and fell asleep for the night

Yellen stood in my dreamscape, I heard the opening bell
And I was thinking to myself "this can’t be Heaven, so this must be Hell"
Then she grew a green candle and she showed me the way
There were voices on a trading floor, I thought I heard them say...

"Welcome to the Hotel Mass Euphoria
Such a lovely place, such a bullish case
Plenty of folks at the Hotel Mass Euphoria
Any time of year, you can find them here"

Oct 11, 2015

The Night They Drove Old VIX-ie Down

Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

Music by The Band (YouTube)

Maxwell Pain is the name, and I burned a short-seller's flame
Till Dimon's cavalry came, and stocks tore up the charts again

In the fall of '09, bears were humbled
They'd just started to thrive
By October 10th, VIX futures fell
It's a time I remember, oh so well

Oct 4, 2015

A Redder Shade of Pale

Red stock quote board

Courtesy of Procol Harum (YouTube)

We skipped a full contango
Danced ‘cross the trading floor
I was feeling kind of lovesick
Tepper called out for more
The Dow was humming harder
As her resistance flew away
When we called out for another drink
Bernanke brought a tray

And so it was that later
As the Bloomberg told his tale
That the screen, at first just green
Turned a redder shade of pale


Aqualung - Jethro Tull

Many thanks to Jethro Tull (YouTube)

Sitting on the chart trend
Eyeing retail orders with bad intent
Bots are running through the close
Sleazy profits, grabbing all the lows
Hey Algo-lung

Spiking just before 1:00
Watching as the squirrelly shorts all run
Hey Algo-lung
Wheeling up the dumptruck
Head-spinning decrease as new longs yell “F^#k!”
Whoa, Algo-lung

Sell in May

Maggie May - Rod Stewart

Adapted from Rod Stewart (YouTube)

Wake up, Janet, I think I’ve got something to say to you
It’s late September and it looks like I’ve been quite a fool
Investors keep you amused, but we feel we’re being used
Oh, Janet, you couldn't have lied any more
You led me away from bonds with the most inglorious of cons
You stole my savings, and that's what really hurts

Another Crummy Day

Life Pursuit cover - Belle and Sebastian

Original lyric by Belle and Sebastian (YouTube)

(Was surprised to hear this in a Hampton Inn TV spot, I assume the first time the band’s music has been used for such purposes here in the States)

Another crummy day, I’m levered up with full margin
You were biased short, I went long, beg your pardon
I viewed an hourly graph of QQQs with an envelope border
It broke my heart to see the bottom limit breached

Another range-bound day, I’m trapped just outside a pivot
Stocks turn and recoil, seems you know it’s the wrong bet
You’ve got an attack algo taking out the naïve longs
And by Sunday margin bells ring out on the desks


Smiths - "Panic" sleeve

Parody of The Smiths (YouTube)

Panic in the markets of London
Panic hits the servers in Framingham
I wonder to myself
Have markets just become sane again?
As worldwide bubbles get tapped down
I wonder to myself

Where the Shorts Are

Where the Boys Are - Connie Francis

Thanks to Connie Francis (YouTube)

{A mean-reversion manifesto}

Where the shorts are, buy-stops wait for me
Won’t leave a trace, their gains erased
Firearms won’t help, unfortunately

Where new shorts are, my best spoofs will be
They’re hunkered around the next pivot down
But I know they’re not lookin' for me

Sunlight Bathed the Golden Glow


From the classic track by Felt (YouTube)

[aka "Sunlight Killed the Golden Goose"]

You're trying to fool somebody, but you end up fooling yourself
You’re reading from that book of Keynes’,
but you don't know what it’s about
I listened to you, now maybe you'll listen to me
You're trying much too hard to make markets trade like a dream

You’ve stepped in it, big time; now you're stepping out of line
If we made a movie of it, would you forward guide your lines?
Stop all this over-thinking, ain’t gonna do no good
Your global QE scheme isn’t doin’ what it should

Golden Cross

Courtesy of David Bowie (YouTube)

Golden Cross, golden, whop whop whop
Golden Cross, golden, whop whop whop

Don't let me hear you say stocks are taking you nowhere, Angel
Come get long, my baby
Look at that SPY, rally’s begun, Goldman’s long and the trap’s been sprung
Come, get long my baby

My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Black)

Rust Never Sleeps - Neil Young & Crazy Horse

From two Neil Young (YouTube) tracks on “Rust Never Sleeps”

My my, hey hey
Low-volume crap is here to stay
There’s less to the picture than meets the eye
Hey hey, my my

Trading’s gone but it’s not forgotten
Can’t remember things this rotten
Now that it’s gone it may never come back
We’re all into the red, and out of the black